So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
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Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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