I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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