She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
