guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
