you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
