how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
