So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
