in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
