i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize