just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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