did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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