now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
