your room smells of hookers.
And success
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
