Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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