Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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