Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
