her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i out mim tonsoeep
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