U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
