Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
