Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
