I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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