Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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