Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
