I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
