why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
