they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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