no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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