I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
