i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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