Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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