u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
