I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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