I bet he comes in French.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
