so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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