ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
