whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i barfeds in our rink
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize