I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
