I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
