Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to have your abortion
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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