"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
