Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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