I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I hate your face
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I understand Curling. That high.
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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