So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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