i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
