even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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