Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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