are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tornado booty call.. dedication
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
