Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
