I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
