Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
