I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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