i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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