He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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