you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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