Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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