Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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