He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
