She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize