How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
